


The Ghost of You it Keeps me Awake

by felicityollies



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, Female Friendship, Friendship, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 08:22:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6510346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicityollies/pseuds/felicityollies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>felicity loses yet another person in her life and she really doesn’t know how to deal with it</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost of You it Keeps me Awake

**Author's Note:**

> the last time i wrote laulicity it was a 4x10 spec fic about laurel almost losing felicity and now...... I’m so sad. It’s fine. (No it’s not).

Felicity held onto John tightly as she sobbed. She cried harder than she had in a long time. Of all the things that could have happened she never expected this.

The loud beep of a flat line rang through her ears. 

The sounds of the doctor calling time of death was not something she was going to be able to forget any time soon. Neither was the way her friend looked lying there. No breath, no life in her eyes, and a completely vacant look on her face.

She hadn’t been able to keep herself from crying since she left the hospital. She barely even had the energy to walk herself out of there that night. Everything had been a slow and heavy blur. She didn’t remember if she got a ride home from someone or if she called a cab. 

She got home and immediately fell into her bed. She lay there fully clothed staring at the ceiling. Her chest was heavy and ached with a sadness that made her throat constrict. Her tears spilled from her eye and rolled down her temples. 

The only thing that had been on her mind that night was Laurel. She would be the only thing on her mind for a while. One of her closest friends ripped away from her. She was tired of losing people. Tired of things going so incredibly wrong. It wasn’t fair. She was too young to have so many ghosts.

After she broke up with Oliver her friend had been there for her. Phone calls, quick little lunch meetings, and conversations that she would treasure always. She was supportive, sweet, and even though Laurel was friends with Oliver she didn’t try to push her in any direction. 

Of course she missed her on the team, but she didn’t try to make her feel bad about leaving. She understood Felicity’s decisions and she appreciated that greatly. Now she was gone. Taken from the world too young. Torn from existence before she had a chance to do everything she deserved to. 

Felicity didn’t know if she believed in fate; in the idea that everything that happens was meant to. If she did, then she would say that fate is one cold bitch. 

She sniffled and reached for her phone. She had a few messages, but she ignored them. She instead flipped through her photographs and found the most recent one of her and Laurel. It was a sweet photo. Laurel’s arms were wrapped around her and her lips were pressed to her cheek. 

She remembered the day vividly. At a café downtown because Laurel insisted that she try the coffee and a biscotti. 

_“You have to try them. They are so good. I dream about coming here on the weekends.”_

“It’s just a biscotti, Laurel.” 

“No no no… these are a mini trip to Italy in your mouth.” She laughed. 

Oh she was going to miss that laugh so much. That melodic, sweet, and infectious laugh. The way it made Laurel’s face light up completely and brought a sparkle to her already gorgeous eyes. 

She was going to miss the warmth that radiated off of her. When she hugged Felicity that day she had been so warm. She could smell the sweet vanilla of her body wash and perfume. The softness of the hug itself was enough to make her want to melt into the comfort it provided. 

She would never get to feel that from Laurel again. 

One of the worst parts of all this was how guilty Felicity felt. Looking at Laurel’s face she had wondered if there was something she could have done. She quit the team, but what if she hadn’t? What if she had sucked it up and been there for them? Maybe just maybe if she had been able to help them this wouldn’t have happened. 

She stared at the picture on her phone until she couldn’t anymore. She gripped onto it and threw it across the room with a scream. She didn’t care if it shattered and broke. She couldn’t look at it anymore. She couldn’t see that shining face and know that she was gone.

She screamed again and cried harder than before. She didn’t stop until her throat was raw. She held onto her pillow sniffling quietly. Her head was pounding and her chest felt heavier than ever thought it could. 

Her heart was shattered for the second time that year. Two entirely different reasons, but this one was worse. This was a permanent scar on her heart. 

Felicity gripped her pillow tightly and closed her eyes. “Laurel, please come back,” She cried out. “Please. I need you. We all need you. Come back.”


End file.
